Quotes

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<aden> i'm an idiot, came in to work today and i've got the day off

<Paul2> man vengaboys were awesome

<Muz>  (repeat forever)

<EarthshineDesign> question
<EarthshineDesign> was the girl with teh pigtails last night Caitlin ?
<Muz> No that was lizzard.
<Muz> Caitlin's the really tall one.
<EarthshineDesign> Oh
<Muz> The really tall one that NEVER turns up anymore.
<EarthshineDesign> well the one with pigtails was a babe
...
<earthshine> well if she is a tranny she's a damned hot one

<caitlin> the musicians need to get home to bed, so they can get up early and work on their business plan

<@jontyw> this is why I love russ:
<@jontyw> <russ> I found a piece of leuttice in my wallet this morning, so I presume I had a kebab.

<Paul2> the sad thing is people have nothing better to do with their lives but add trees to OSM

<@t0m> I'm also fairly big on angle grinding, and generally most things which can result in accidental breakage of rule 0
<@m00> rule 0?
<@t0m> Do not be on fire.

<@solexious> Should the used Ferric Chloride and Sodium Silicate be returned into their respective bottles?
<parag0n> drink them
<parag0n> they're harmless once used
<parag0n> and taste delicious

<Paul2> AircraftInteriorsExpo, continuing the trend of putting anyword infront of expo and thinking it will be great.

<parag0n> who wants to buy sealand and start a hackspace there
<tomwardill> the commute is a bit of a bitch

<ICANN> have you guys ever heard of the landline hacking?
<ICANN> well not hacking really but secret
<theothers> It's not called that anymore, it's Bushwhacking.

<theothers> If you ever see arpawocky on this channel he would be able to teach you how to build this stuff, he tought me.
<ICANN> to build what?
<@parag0n> mains phase shifter, other disco equipment

<codexn> caitlin ,i am wish to make friends with you !just talk something we like ,ok?
<@Alex> ...wat
<caitlin> hush you, i stand to make my first ever friend

<@aden> i read irc, twitter, and facebook, that's like reading a few really badly written books every day

<@russss> it's dark. There may be a nonzero chance of being eaten by a grue

<@solexious> Im going to repurpose one of my strobe beacons and hook it up to a methane sensor for the loos

<@solexious> ow, protip, dont solder naked

<ms7821> I am not sleeping on the dong

<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.

<glen2> Pizza printer?
<Blapto> pizza printer!
<glen2> So a cheese extruider?
<aden> going to put pizza dough in the makerbot instead of PLA
<glen2> Please don't touch the Makerbot.

<@aden> you can't own a mac and be a troll, you'd spend all day trolling yourself

<samthetechie> (to Kal) I'm so going to chain you to a radiator one day

<@solexious> oni_: less dancing, more grinding

<@roberthl> aden: is that... bacon?

<parag0n> eve is basically a spreadsheet
<parag0n> with a pretty 3d UI

<oni_> jontyw: where did you find that site?
<jontyw> oni_, which site?
<oni_> http://youtubecrack.on.nimp.org
<earlbot> [ GNAA Last Measure Live! ]
<jontyw> DO NOT CLICK
<Tamsin> I was going to ask if that was SFW :)
<oni_> lol, indeed
<roberthl> ah fuck
<roberthl> thanks guys :(

<@solexious> aaah beard fire]
<@solexious> soldering fail #2
< blapto> DON'T BE ON FIRE
<@solexious> its fine, im not in the space

<@actel> everything runs on gin
<@Muz> Gin, and dreams.

<Blapto> Has anybody here ever bought a towel?
<Muz> ... yes?
<Blapto> I need some towels.  I've never bought one.

< martop25xton> i am not that smart but i am easy to get along with
<@lozzd> that much is clear

<@roberthl> yeah i probably came in at a bad angle
<@roberthl> i think we should call it "combat docking"
<@drPoggs> roberthl: i hope you wiped up

<caitlin> i had spoke cards on every single bit of my bike i could get them on when i was 9 
<caitlin> REALLY wanted a motorbike
<caitlin> it was quite hard to pedal

<@drPoggs> it's not *too* far
<@drPoggs> continue down Old Street until you think you're in the 80s, then left up Kingsland Road and y'er almost there

<@russss> I'm sure it's doing it in a logical order, it's just not using the correct kind of logic.

<Blapto> I actually quite enjoyed that blue people film in 3D

<@haywardgb> i need a pee! where's Sol!

<caitlin> srsly, you motherfuckers.. the quotes page is basically grep caitlin log.file

< gsearle> Anyone here speak German?
<@solexious> 9

<caitlin> i loathe them junking ethics in with religion
<caitlin> it's like putting porn in the kids tv section
<caitlin> i could use a better analogy

<@jontyw> So, all the lights are on in the space but I can't see anyone there....
< pingbat> sounds like lots of people i know

* Blapto commits seppeku or bukkake or whatever it is

< Blapto> Sucking is too much effort

<@glen2> I'm in a shell, you'll have to describle the jpg to me.
< Paul2> glen2: pixel one: dark blue ish
< Paul2> pixel two (going l->r) also dark blue
< Paul2> maybe balck actually
< Paul2> 3: same as others
< Paul2> bored now. you get the picture
< Paul2> oh. wait. you dont.

<Muz> I think you misunderestimate my girth

<@solexious> Cory Doctoro just borrowed a drill

<amln> that 'ff' thing confused the fuck out of me. i did think it was about fisting.

< Herald> I even put it in the oven for 5 minutes to make it warm and soft

<russss> I have like 16GB of horse-related XML

<@oni> i am currently looking after Solexious's cats
<@oni> they like kebabs funnily

[18:39:45] <russss> what? I'm not grumpy

<@JamesHarrison> If they complain, put wheels on the bottom one and stick a permit on it

< aden> they could be using grindr to find a pub with lots of mac users in

<@russss> this stuff really isn't new, that's the thing. Why does it take fucking Microsoft to come out with something to get people excited about it.
< Underhand> because people get excited about fucking?

 <solexious> there was also a dead bee in the water tank :/
 <zts> that's a bug, not a feature

 <ms7821> it's the same as running away from bears - you only need to be more secure than the bike next to you

<elliot_w> useful for layzoring?: http://woodgears.ca/gear_cutting/template.html
<earlbot> [ Gear template generator ]
<chaotician> that's really cool
<aden> now all we need is something that requires wooden or perspex gears

<aden> i use one of those hdmi over cat 5 things, and a power over ethernet adapter, and a wireless bridge, so now my pc is totally wireless

< coldblood> how are the trains running into london?
< ms7821> still on tracks
<@Paul2> the same way they normally do, through application of kinetic energy and friction and things

<parag0n> whoooooa
<parag0n> NASA discovered life on earth

< alexs> It's like that Silicon based blob from star trek
< alexs> that eats rock
< alexs> (ST:TOS)
< parag0n> mmm, rocks
< alexs> It means life on Titan is possible.
< alexs> Think of the romeo and juliet esq fanfiction that's possible now!
< alexs> Arsenic based life-form falls in love with phosphorous based life form.
< alexs> They run away together, and then die.
< srimech> You could call it "My Chemical Romance"

< parag0n> how can we draw a penis on a set of xmas lights

<@Muz> Aden's floppy blue-tinged emoboy quiff hung loosely in front of his eyes as he breathed gently down Nigle's neck.
<@Muz> Slow, the makerbot began to extrude a fine white paste.

<@jontyw> Honest to god, someone just emailed the contact@hackspace.org.uk address asking for advice on how to set up a hackerspace in london

<glen2> I'm pritty sure I could get any surgery right on the second or third try.

* russss still hasn't had an opportunity to try his telescope out
<@solexious> so to speak

* alexs wonders if the mechanics on the funicular railway are RMT members
<Paul2> Funicular Union of Contractors and Keyworkers (FUCK)
< CableTwitch> And also the Funicular Union of Contractors and Keyworkers Emergency Rescue Service (FUCKERS)
< ms7821> and their outsourced IT dept, FUCKIT
< SamLR> Funicular uniont of contractors and keyworks: wellbeing, and information training (staff) FUCKWITS
< Paul2> fuckwits, the wireless part of the it services
< CableTwitch> Funicular Union of Contractors and Keyworkers - Official Funicular Forum
< alexs> Oh dear.
< ms7821> I hear they're expanding to LUL properties with their new Trains And Rails Division
< CableTwitch> The department for dealing with trackworks and maintainance follows the Universal Program
< Paul2> There is a Cellular Underground Networks Team for mobiles on the tube. I need to tell them their name.

<ms7821> I had to explain 4chan to my grandmother at christmas
<jpds> ms7821: 4chan != channel4.
<DanB_> ms7821: You cannot say that and not give us an idea of how *precisely* you managed to explain 4chan? :) I can imagine it was quite something!
<aden> slapped her round the face with his dong, and said "it's a bit like that"

<jontyw> What is solexious up to?
<solexious> jontyw: helping the pizza guy work his cctv recorder

@<srimech> Due to a collision of two mailing list threads, four members of the London Hackspace were cast in resin for a new Sky TV series on the 2nd February 2011.

<aden> can't remember who it was, in the end we kicked them from the channel for being dead

<Cyd>	i have an accent fetish
<Cyd>	i think...
<Cyd>	i hear a great english accent i melt
<lozzd>	if you were a hot girl, i'd so be attempting to bed you right now
<Cyd>	really?
<lozzd>	no offense
<lozzd>	hahahahah
<lozzd>	that was.. bizarre
.
.
< Cindy> hi everyone
<@lozzd> oh.
<@lozzd> i c what u did thar.
< Cindy> ?
<@lozzd> [01:11:06] <-- Cyd (~zinc@unaffiliated/cydd) has left #london-hack-space
<@lozzd> [01:11:42] --> Cindy (~zinc@unaffiliated/cydd) has joined #london-hack-space
< Cindy> what a coincidence...

<Muz> No, he suggested that they merely share two properties
<Muz> FFUU
<jontyw> I want to start graphing the frequency of muz's channel fuckups
<Muz> :(
<Muz> I'd been so good for months!
<creature> jontyw: I think he needs a gmail-style "You're about to say something in #london-hack-space. Is this really the channel you were  expecting to post in?" dialog whenever he speaks.
<jontyw> Mere seconds later, in another channel:
<jontyw> <Muz> Also, wtb moar multi-threading.
<jontyw> <Muz> FFFUUU
<jontyw> <Muz> Shut up jonty.
<jontyw> <alex> Haha.

<Muz>	This channel has really jumped the troll.

<kokey> ?molest
<robonaut> kokey, I don't understand 'molest'. Did you mean 'meet'?
<Randomskk> haha "meet"
<Randomskk> as in, 'I'm going to "meet" some children'

<jontyw> For use only in emergencies:	
<jontyw> ?llama	
<robonaut> |      Tony the drama llama says..     |	
<robonaut> ----------------------------------------	
<robonaut> |                                      |	
<robonaut> |                            o ~)      |	
<robonaut> |                          o    (_---; |	
<robonaut> |  (Calm down children!) o      /|~|\  |	
<robonaut> |                              / / /   |	
<robonaut> |                                      |	
<robonaut> ----------------------------------------	
User mode for ms7821 set to +o by ChanServ	
← robonaut was kicked by ms7821 (~Mark@goatse.co.uk): spam	
User mode for ms7821 set to -o by ChanServ	
<jontyw> Aww	
* jontyw removes the llama

<russ> Amongst other gunk, there was HALF A DEAD BEE lodged in the water flow interlock sensor.
<artag> Alas, poor Eric.

<TypeOLobo>  Looking for a squid expert with good-to-expert security,routing experience. Pays $500 for the solution. Easy money for the right expert.
<ms7821> bruce schneier's a squid expert
<TypeOLobo> ok, thanks ms.. i'll look for him.

<@solexious> its for dirk
<parag0n> gently?
* srimech whispers: "it's for dirk"
<SpikeUK> :-(

<@Jasperw> can anyone remember that product/shopping agregator website that jonty posted, it was called something like justbuythisone.com
<@Jasperw> oh wait, thats exactly what it's called.

<Alex> solexious: wat?
<Alex> solexious: your script sucks, or that's not a script, or something else. :)
<solexious> Alex: what? i dont even
<Alex> horse.

<aden> when i worked on a it helpdesk, idiots wanted apostrophes in their names, then were surprised when they couldn't receive external email
<russss> this is why you don't work in a helpdesk any more aden

<GPenguin> what does the bot mean when it says that somebody opened the door?
<ms7821> :S
<aden> GPenguin: take a guess
<GPenguin> somebody connected via ssh?

<SamLR> timm pho is good but doesn't have the scalability of pizza
<@russss> pho is fucking web scale

<Underhand> i certainly didn't report it when a drunk in newcastle flopped his cock out and ran towards me. i just figured that was par for the course on a friday night in the north.
<creature> Underhand: You should feel privileged. That's a traditional Northern welcome. It's a great honour.

<@SamLR> we're no longer "london hackspace" we're "some guys in london" (Fox says so!)
<spooq> right above "dog climbs fence"
<spooq> and "homeowners fined for noisy toddler"
<spooq> LHS has hit the big time!
<eb4890> We've made it. We can stop now. We aren't going to do any better than that.

<jontyw> ARGHARGArarRAGHHH http://trbaldwin.com/takeways-from-linklove-london/
<jontyw> SEO conferences need to be routinely firebombed
<creature> jontyw: firebombed, bombed, molotov cocktailed, incendiary bombed.

<Sci> ...And if it stops just one person filling a working clock mechanism with hot-glue & putting it on a hat, I'll be happy.

<lovelace_> oh and the people tidying up in advance of the kids might want to remove the japanese scat porn from the lovelace downloads folder if the kids will be unsupervised near this pooter

<ms7821> meta threads really hit the google filters - I'm getting multiple NLP ads now
<ms7821> and one on bike sheds :|
<parag0n> what colour are they?
<ms7821> japanese

<jonty> http://cloudgirlfriend.com/
<caitlin> i'm thinking that through, but cloud girlfriends have existed for just about ever
<caitlin> a platform with limited resources, but shared between a large number of clients?
<caitlin> on which as a client you 'rent' time?

<lovelace_> ?board RIP Fruity, March 2011 - April 2011. Beloved by HaywardGB, murdered by hoodlums

<aden> they should ban handkerchiefs from tubes, in case terrorists use hanky code to communicate

<ms7821> even more important http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler%27s_possible_monorchism
<earlbot> [ Hitler's possible monorchism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ]
<@russss> lol
<@srimech> He was monochromatic though, I've seen pictures

<@glen2> Anyway I go to bed now. I've had a bussy day of braking httpd and having my dog eat one of my walls.
<ms7821> glen2: is walls a typo?
<@srimech> I read it as balls too
<artag> glen2 is monochromatic as well now

 <@jontyw> Making the cameras members only to increase privacy is absurd, given we have ~272 members. That's like fucking in a bedroom that only 272 people have the key to and thinking it unlikely that someone will walk in.

<tomwardill_> so, this bikeshed, it needs to be green, yes? ;)
<jontyw> I was thinking it should be invisible, to increase privacy.
<tomwardill_> oh yes!
<tomwardill_> and unplottable
<tomwardill_> in case it appears on a map

<russss> if there's someone next to me staring at me I can punch them in the face

<ajp5> <basil fawlty>dont mention the cameras, I mentioned them once but I think i got away with it </bf>

<parag0n> hdd platters make good frisbees
<jontyw> They really do
<jontyw> There's a huge stack of them in the space
<jontyw> I took great joy in frisbeeing a few into the carpark from the balcony the other night
<jontyw> Tiny death frisbees
<creature> What's their hang time like? Think you could clear the railway tracks?
<jontyw> Yeah, you could
<jontyw> The only issue is that if you fall short you just chucked a bit of metal onto railway tracks.

<russss> 11. Does the organisation welcomes membership from marginalised groups in the community e.g.
<russss> asylum seekers, lesbian and gay men, ethnic minorities, people with disabilities, women, young
<russss> people and older age groups?
<russss> If yes please provide documentary evidence
<russss> [sic]
<russss> how the hell do you provide documentary evidence of that?
<martind> put up a sign "lesbians welcome"? then take pics?
<creature> We can photocopy people's gay cards, right?
<andrewgodwin> right, every disabled, gay or female member needs to provide a short essay...
<solexious> badly worded? "lesbian and gay men"
<russss> heh
<solexious> i'm a lesbian man!
<martind> ah yeah it needs to be "lesbian men welcome"
<andrewgodwin> I'll happily provide documentary evidence that the hackspace is FABULOUS

<@JamesHarrison> in retrospect, trying to debate AV with people on /b/ was never a good idea

<jontyw> I was considering shipping a box of bees to someone for april fools day
<jontyw> But I figured it might be a bit harsh
<jontyw> "Oh! I've got a present!"
<jontyw> "OH GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE"

* Errant does the moving-to-Geneva dance
* Errant is going to communicate the shit out of CERN
<glen2> Errant: Do some dumpster-diving at CERN for the Hackspace.
<srimech> Bring us back a bag of muons

<srimech> Renski: World ending tomorrow, didn't you get the mail?
<Renski> ffs, I have library books I need to return
<srimech> I know, I just bought loads of tea bags, there's no way I'm going to use them all now
<Renski> srimech: I need to arrange an orgy or something, what time is this meant to happen?
<bmalee> Local time everywhere, apparently.
<srimech> It'll take ages.

<glen2> If I remember the Bible correctly, isn't the rapture ment to take 300 male virgin jews?
<tomwyatt> oh god, 300 virgin WoW players
<glen2> So it could have happened!
<mattp> at least ping times will go down.

<glen2> I'm going to bed now. I have to remove the balls from my dog early tomorrow.
<Underhand> poor dog.
<glen2> I wonder if the vet would be willing to replace them with D20's.

<glen2> Salford is the songs of Joy Division made solid.

<ms7821> ?weather
<robonaut> Light rain, 16C/61F, Humidity: 72% Wind: SW at 18 mph
<ms7821> neat
<ms7821> oh wait, did I write that?

<@jontyw> http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081109165257AAjtP30
< earlbot> [ My toe fingers keep growing how do I make them short? - Yahoo! Answers ]
<@jontyw> Dear Ryan, I think you'll find they're just called toes. You fucking idiot.
< timm> Toe Finger!
<@jontyw> Love, the internets.
<@tomscott> "he's the man / the man with the toes for fingers"
<@srimech> Catchy
<@tomscott> which is ironic, since there's no way he could catch with toefingers
<@srimech> It's very dangerous to underestimate toefinger.
<@jontyw> He loves only toooes, Only Tooees, He loves toooes
< timm> <posh accent>Good Day, Mr. Bond, I'm ToeFinger" </posh accent>
<@tomscott> "do you expect me to talk?" "no, Mr Bond, I expect you to be mildly uncomfortable and try not to stare"
<@jontyw> Would his henchman be Footjob?
<@jontyw> And Footsie Galore

<@srimech> How's your burrito? Not waspy enough? Here we go. *enwasp*

<alecjw> what are the plans for the little room on the left at the back of the workshop?
<@creature> The toilet?
<@roberthl> it's a toilet

<@jontyw> Oh for tits sake, we're suspending the sea fort trip AGAIN.
 * jontyw cries a little
<@tomscott> well, don't worry about it, after all it's the fort that counts

<alecjw> ie buy her an orchid or something - all women like orchids, right?
<lovelace_> yes. unless they dont like orchids
<alecjw> i'm hoping she doesn't belong to that category

<ms7821> and I thought Windows woudl bloody work

<billy_> someone dropped half of one off the balcony, and people were stepping around it, like a puddle of vomit

<lovelace_> im visiting from pl and want to see all your cool projects
<artag> lovelace_: they are all around you, cunningly disguised as piles of broken rubbish

<@glen2> Experience what pre-industrial revolution life must have been like with our collection of motorless lathes.

<oni> I demand nubile hot students!
<oni> I wonder if thats a clause in my contract
<solexious> oni: I almost took a job as a theatre tech in a 6th form girls boarding school for the same reason

<@Jasperw> it's like being molested by your favourite teddy bear.
<@Jasperw> really this should come as no surprise for me, i've hung out on asr, i have an adminspoorting t-shirt, i should know in the inner recesses of my being what all sysadmins know:
<@Jasperw> All software sucks, and all hardware sucks.

The continuing adventures of Muz's channel fuckups:

<Muz> Also, with cuffs, you totally can't bind limbs to other limbs securely, as you could with say rope.
<Muz> FFUCK
<martind> #bondage pls

<earlbot> [ The Monarchy Today > Queen and public > Royal visits > Queen and passport ]
<kierank> s/Her majesty/Chairman Jonty
<jontyw> I am unsure if you're implying that I am a "her". 
<kierank> i am not implying that
<Underhand> jontyw: well, are you?
-*- jontyw checks
<jontyw> I don't think so
<jontyw> "Her"'s are innies, right?

The further continuing adventures of Muz's channel fuckups:

<Muz> I'm fucking hungry. What time are we Westfielding?
<Muz> You're not work IRC.

<jontyw> Paul2, we attempt to get consensus, basically. If that fails, we start killing the people who disagree with us.
<jontyw> It's a simple system.
<srimech> I thought we were using the phrase "adjust" rather than "kill"
<nigle> Yep, life expectancy adjustment :-)

<russss> and broadly I am just a frontend to wikipedia

<earthshine> alecjw: Do you use Lynx ?
<alecjw> sometimes. at the moment im using firefox with js disabled
<roowilliams> why js disability?
<alecjw> i don't beleive in web 2.0

<amx109> hey. anyone got any contact info for lhs folks in Brighton?
<amx109> I've arrived but with nowhere to really go, or peeps to see
<aden> go into a random pub toilet, call one of the numbers on the wall

<Paul2> We should take more lessons from Neighbours. Upset at something? Don't worry. Wait until tomorrow and everyone will have forgotten about it.

<russss> tl;dr: we need a bar.
<russss> that's the final line of a poem I haven't written yet

<FractalBobz> Isn't there a pariety?
<ms7821> nope, but the high bit is used for extended ascii
<jontyw> A piratey?
<FractalBobz> Yarr!
<ms7821> are piratey bits pieces of 8?

<alecjw> timROGERS, are you the person sitting to my right?
<timROGERS> Yes. Haha.

<alecjw> [on the phone to the beer wholesalers] I'm the crazy one with the handcart.

<alecjw> jontyw: i knew the regulars think of me as a helfunsaftee disaster but i didnt know you, who's visited the space less than half a dozen times since i joined, i've forgotten how i started this sentence

<ms7821> the only thing that travels faster than light is alecjw's reputation for causing damage

< ms7821> but that wand is only large enough for macchiatos
<@jontyw> That's what SHE said

<@jontyw> Do you remember what I was doing? I'd like to know. I found an animated gif of myself dressed in binbags on twitter the next morning.

* TheHypnotist just had a romantic dinner for two with someone extra special and bright, shiney, inteligent and lovely beautifully long flowing brown hair. <3 
<jontyw> TheHypnotist, ms7821?
<TheHypnotist> yesh jonty, yesh <3<3

<aden> nobody would notice the difference between jeremy kyle and the hackspace webcam

<russss> the case of my macbook pro is floating above earth
<amx109> in orbit?
<russss> ELECTRICALLY

< wb_> Hi, this is Wieger, I visited the London Hackspace last weekend with a small group of dutchmen
<@glen2> wb_: We don't still have them.
< nigle> Sold them on ebay
<@aden> we sold a small group of dutchmen on ebay?
< squeeks> we didn't get much, right?
<@t0m> no, we split them into individual lots
<@t0m> still made more on the P&P than the goods though :(
<@glen2> wb_ only posted one line of text.
< wb_> :)

<ms7821> jontyw: s/Alex/alecjw/? 
<Alex> no.
<jontyw> ms7821, no
<jontyw> NO
<jontyw> no
<ms7821> no?
<jontyw> n
<jontyw> o
<srimech> There's no limit
<Alex> THERE'S NO LIMIT
<Alex> /part
* srimech high-fives Alex

(where lovelace_ is calum)
<Randomskk> america is really broken
<lovelace_> its been broke for a while...
<lovelace_> probably since the slave trade

<@JamesHarrison> We'll need to do a Mission Control makeover for the quiet room, of course
<@Flux42> Hoxton, we have a problem... </pred>

<@SamLR> it really depresses me how many people will accept "magnets" as a reason that someone's perpetual motion device works

<kierank> I always longed for tubby toast
<kierank> that brown paste on them looked tasty

<artag> teach a man to solder, and you feed farnell for life

<solexious> she freaked a bit when the door bell spoke to her

<alecjw> i'm utterly dysfunctional and i dont know where i'd be without an army of people sorting my life out for me

 * Flux42 notes VIM is twenty today.
<srimech> Flux42: vim is 20. VIM is 1006.

<lovelace_> or... any idea how to remove all trace of raid safely - I've never had to do that before
<aden> dd bs=1024k if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda
<lovelace_> ta aden
<aden> that should remove all trace of raid
<lovelace_> it already says the array isn't active
<theorbtwo> That should remove (more or less) all traces of *anything*.
<lovelace_> brb
* lovelace_ has quit (Remote host closed the connection)

* Akki14 is scared of the heinz ketchup facebook page. they just keep entering me into contests 
* artag is terrified of the idea of a facebook page for condiments
<artag> i consume sauce. i don't want to interact with it socially.

<ms7821> I learned all my fingering skills off mavis

<healern> It is a tight space for your fingers to cram in, but the advantage is that once you get use to it, you don't need to move your fingers to press anything

<dmi> FFS
<dmi> tomorrow is 11/11/11, not 11/11/11
<dmi> bloody Americans
<Akki14> dmi: of course correctly it should be 11/11/11
<dmi> Akki14: if you're going ISO, yes
<Akki14> best way to sort things

< ms7821> root@babbage:~# ps -e|grep netcamfix|wc -l
< ms7821> 701

<@t0m> I pronounce MySQL as 'My First SQL' in my head. Kinda like 'my first train set'

<aden> much easier in bash - echo fizz; echo buzz;:(){ :|:& };:
<russss> bastard
<roberthl> uhm, why has my server stopped responding after runnign that command????
<squeeks> roberthl: please don't tell me you actually ran it.

<Ken Boak> There's no easy way around this apart from chucking extra trannies at it.

<@solexious> If maplin sponsor Gadget Geeks i'm shaving off all my hair
< Sully-> Right, we'd better note that down ...

< Sully-> The british railway industry is returning to state ownership
< Sully-> It's going to be owned by the German state

< TheHypnotist-> would it be uncool to ask on the mailing list if anyone has something sterile that can pop an abcess. that they can bring to the food thing tonight?

< robonaut> DING DONG MERRILY ON HIGH, DOOR BELL! http://hack.rs/doorbell.jpg

<jontyw> :D
<jontyw> I promise to let someone hypnotise me if I decide to get practical
<TheHypnotist> okies :d
<TheHypnotist> i realise not me
<TheHypnotist> but thats fine ;p
<jontyw> Maybe even you. With supervision :P
<TheHypnotist> lol :D
<cepmenderer> Jontyw: DON`T DO IT!!!

<alecjw> from a culinary perspective, life is good at the moment. i just made myself some icing and im eating it out of a mug
<alecjw> am i making a cake? no. i just fancied eating some icing

<russss> right what I'm going to do is script my accounts payables using scheme
<russss> what could possibly go wrong :/

* cepmenderer rubs oil on my skin and lets you shave my body with a sharp piece of flint
<cepmenderer> argh wrong window
<artag> could you tell us more about the right window ?

* Akki14 starts building the perspex cases and pedestals to put tom & sol upon for the duration of the watching
<Akki14> or maybe cages would be more appropriate if we're making them dance
<tomwyatt> nah cages
<Akki14> wv, tom :)
<tomwyatt> or any kind of enclosure where we make them dance, prevent them escaping and push dollar bills into charles' beard

<SolexiousSky> HELLO FROM THE LOBBY OF SKY TV
<SolexiousSky> TYPING THIS ON SIX FOOT TALL IPAD

<tomscott> passive-aggressive snarking on IRC: the best kind of passive-aggressive snarking

<tomwyatt> debugging by brownian motion

<aden> guy who i bought my bunker off was using the money to buy a scottish forest

<@jontyw> It can only be a science museum if it has babbages brain in it.

< flapcats> I've been once before :-)
< flapcats> It's like the internet IRL
< flapcats> love it.

<tomwyatt> have the boy bring me my programming trousers

<russss> also for the record, whoever put "'and 1=1" as their name is a total dick :P

< ms7821> I can't  breathe
< Akki14> LOL
<@Flux42> Hipster took Mark's breath away.
< Akki14> snogging? :D
<@Flux42> It wasn't that innocent.
< Sully-> #Take my breath awaaaaay
< ms7821> next person to tickle me gets a slap

<jontyw> ARGHGHA. http://www.beautiesandgeeks.com/
<tomwyatt> jontyw: have you never watched that show?
<jontyw> tomwyatt, THIS IS NOT THE SHOW
<jontyw> This is a fucking DATING EVENT IN LONDON
<tomwyatt> i'm so there
<jontyw> tomwyatt, don't you have a ladyfriend?!
<tomwyatt> yeah, i'm going as the beaty

<Montyphy> I love watching geese or swans land on ice
<Montyphy> its like... "I'm coming in hot. Coming in hot. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT. Nailed it"
...
<ms7821> Montyphy: that's what she said?

<@glen2> What's the maximum operational temperature of a cat?

<ms7821> I hope I've recovered from last night by Friday
<ms7821> last thing I remember was simultaneous whisky and port
<ms7821> and eating the plant in the middle of the table
<ms7821> I also gave the taxi driver a £10 tip

dilbert There's no kill switch on Awesome.

< Sully-> Flux42> Jonty did take all of yesterday more or less, got up at 5pm

< Pharaoh> I want to be like Carl Sagan when I grow up.
<@aden> dead?

< billy_> womble sense tingling...

<@solexious> would it help if I told you I was ircing naked?

< ajp5> Twas the night before wednesday, when all through the space
< ajp5> not a creature was stirring, not even morris
< ajp5> The fairy lights were strung from the ceiling with care,
< ajp5> in the hopes the great womble soon would be there
< ajp5> Babbage was nestled, all snug on it's plinth
< ajp5> while dreams of Arduino's danced in everyones heads
< ajp5> the perlcode was debugged, but of the libary we dispaired
< ajp5> needs a rewrite in python, if anyone cared
< ajp5> When outside the door there arose such a clatter,
< ajp5> It's Hoxton, no need to go see what was the matter
< ajp5> the door opened and the board lit up in a flash,
< ajp5> Treasures galore, the great womble parts with no cash

<tomw_> russss: what time do you make it?
<russss> tomw_: I'm seeing five past troll here
<creature> russss: That's nearly ten to rage.

The extended continuing adventures of Muz's channel fuckups:

<Muz> MDI-358
<Muz> Argh, you're not JIRA.

<artag> i have exits hidden, who went ?
<@drrk> irccloud
<tef> irccloud
<tomw_> </csi miami moment>

<@aden> maybe we should get rid of lovelace, then homeless people without laptops can't heckle us on irc
<tomw_> or use it to warm their feet

<tomw_> this is the clamped car thats the guys refusing to pay for isnt it?
<CaptainTerrible> I believe so.
<CaptainTerrible> Came on IRC asking about getting help angle grinding the clamp off
<Sully-> Said they were quite ingenious, I asked if they were more igneous than the person who designed the clamp
<tomw_> they were made of solidified lava?

<@russss> getting drunk in the space? disgraceful behaviour.
<@russss> :P

<calumm> would a compound crossbow be reasonable to put on the swapshop....?
<calumm> I couldnt help smile when I included the word reasonable and crossbow in the same sentence but I ahve to ask....

<@aden> try getting drunk, best way to cure shyness
<@aden> i used to be shy, now i'm an alcoholic

<kokey> russss: that has more pink than hellokitty.com
<kokey> it's NSFW pink

<@Nin-lil-izi> ai... The sleeping threads are like reading twilight.... you start off unsure but slightly curious... want die rather than continue by half way and looking for creative ways of trolling the supporters by the end

< glen2> Good morning.
< glen2> I just pulled some fluff from by belly-button and a strip of skin it was fused to came with it.
< Akki14> ew
<@jontyw> Thanks glen, that was quite literally the very first thing I read today.

<russss> I am in prufrock. There are 9 people here and 8 of them, including me, are checked in on foursquare.
<russss> mm pretentious coffee

<@Montyphy> Hipster made this yesterday: http://imgur.com/4fLUB
< earlbot> [ Tom Scott Death Mask ]
<@tomw_> s/death mask/sex toy
<@theorbtwo> tomw_: Surely the mouth should be open for that...
<@Montyphy> fleshlights were mentioned

<Flux42> glen2 just shouted "Eat his face"
<Flux42> Thankfully the dogs are resistent to instruction.

<@Nin-lil-izi> With already had this discussion and solexious is not soldering nude without marrying me first

< Errant> tremble before me, and my nearly finished fluffy dressing gown!

<@solexious> I think the smell of MDF is steeped into my hands now :/ can't get it out
<@Flux42> Don't try to wash it out. Launch a new line of Eau de Cologne.
<@Flux42> "Smell like a real man with Yarnold for Men."
<@solexious> "A carefully measured fragrance of mdf and arse crack"
<@Flux42> I think you should leave the marketing to someone else.

<@jontyw> I won't be happy until the biohackers make lab-grown steak and pursuade a vegetarian to try it.

<artag> jonty prancing around the hackspace on all fours does have some merit

<@iamdanw> I once went to the maplin in liverpool street and emerged into a police kettle

<@glen2> tomwyatt: Where does it say that this is the story thath was on pages 12 and 13?
< tomwyatt> well
< tomwyatt> what i did
< tomwyatt> and this is the clever bit
< tomwyatt> was turn to page 12 and read it
<@russss> outstanding
* jontyw can't stop giggling

<aden> i applied for a job doing satellites when i got home drunk last night...

<russss> you can sit on the grass, by the canal, with a bint
<russss> er
<russss> pint.
<russss> PINT

<lovelace_> husky taken a dump in quiet room
<Filbert> wtf
<lovelace_> i think it needs a change of dog food
<lovelace_> *puke*
<Filbert> I have no idea why I'm looking at the webcam :/

<@russss> my landlord keeps beginning his emails with "Greetings from button moon"

< robonaut> Montyphy, I don't understand 'drama'. Did you mean 'llama'?

<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> er
-!- tgreer was kicked from #london-hack-space by jontyw [kill -9]

<russss> cocks
<russss> I have no umbrella
<Sully-> It's alright, you won't get wet, it's hail
<tomwyatt> all hail Russ!
<russss> please don't
<Flux42> All ale russss!
<russss> better

<tomwyatt> heh i'm sneaking messages into our mailservers banners
<tomwyatt> "220 yo dawg i herd u like mail"

<jontyw> Walking is for people with legs. The plasma cutter will fix that.

<@jontyw> solexious, belt news?
<@Flux42> Live from the workshop, around the world, this is BELT NEWS
<@russss> the belt's arrived, it's installed, but the laser cutter hasn't been fully aligned yet
<@Flux42> Thank you russss, and now back to the studio.
<@Flux42> Still to come, how to survive a weekend in Milton Keynes and the diet that's taking the hacker world by storm: Lucky Chip.

< parag0n__> we nearly had a space with a door out of the 4th floor where there used to be a fire escape
< parag0n__> but that fell through

<tomwyatt> waht the fuck? theres IPX stuff running on our network here
<russss> tomwyatt: do you have a VPN connection to 1997?

<Nin-lil-izi> Just tried running over my keyboard with a vacuum cleaner to such out all the dust.... did more harm than good... now its all scratched up
<jontyw> Wait, you actually rolled an upright vacuum cleaner over your keyboard?
<Nin-lil-izi> it seemed like a genius idea at the time

<CaptainTerrible> I've never been so objectively wrong about pre-packaged sandwiches in my life.

<@CaptainTerrible> I prefer to think of it as "That time I spent in the workshop alone with solexious and a pack of balloons, giggling in the dark"

<SamLR> I'm more amused by the location: penzance, nice and easy for access to... ?
<tomwyatt> THE PIRATES

<Armand> ?chat Wikipedia is full of crap
<robonaut> For other uses of "Shit", see Shit (disambiguation)

<parag0n_> i have a DX6i somewhere that i used for my RC car
<parag0n_> originally for my rc plane, but there was a tree and

<hipster> I have driven before, but I was drunk at the time

<@Akki14> in a house full of old people. in a town full of old people. in a county full of old people
<@Akki14> i know i noticed a whole shop just for hearing aids
<@Akki14> sadly, it was not called WHAT?

<Akki14> Marc's talked to them now
<russss> to what end?
<Montyphy> Hopefully the top
<russss> har har

<Daithi> bah everyone has gone for smoke, it's got boring
<russss> Daithi: it was a pint of vodka with an ultrasonic mister in it.
<Daithi> oh i see, thanks

<russss> what the fuck, flying saucers are zero-rated for VAT, but haribo bears aren't?

< greenhac> the shit you find when looking for other stuff online http://www.funpartyltd.co.uk/details/Duke+Of+Edinburgh+Cardboard+Cutout+
<@aden> http://www.funpartyltd.co.uk/details/Lifesized+Inflatable+Jonty

<booyaa> pippin: i thought you were ace in them lord of the ring movies

<@SamLR> the first code I was introduced to within physics consisted of about 5 functions, mainly named with varients of "george" or "fuck".... all of which were over 100 lines and pretty opaque

<@russss> I'm writing risk assessments
< alecjw> russss: can i be in it?
<@Sully-> You might have your own

< aden> what about pizza that is too hot
< filthy_hipster> I eat it before it's cool
 * Akki14 sighs... 

< Akki14> i've been blowdrying my mouse

< Armand> Did the world get fixed while I was out?
< ms7821> Armand: yes, we all live in a blissful drama-free paradise with space for all hackers to coexist and play practical jokes without fear of retaliation

<russss> ?args /etc/*
<robonaut> russss #london-hack-space #london-hack-space args /etc/adduser.conf /etc/aliases /etc/alternatives /etc/apache2 /etc/apm /etc/apparmor /etc/apparmor.d /etc/apport /etc/asterisk /etc/at.deny /etc/avahi /etc/avrdude.conf /etc/bash.bashrc /etc/bash_completion /etc/bash_completion.d /etc/bind /etc/bindresvport.blacklist /etc/blkid.conf /etc/blkid.tab /etc/bluetooth /etc/byobu /etc/ca-certificates /etc/ca-certificates.conf /etc/ca-certificates.co
<robonaut> tc/environment /etc/esound /etc/exports /etc/fail2ban /etc/ffserver.conf /etc/firewall6.conf /etc/fonts /etc/foomatic /etc/freetds /etc/frotz.conf /etc/fstab /etc/fuse.conf /etc/gai.conf /etc/gamin /etc/gconf /etc/gdb /etc/gdm /etc/GeoIP.conf.default /etc/gpm.conf /etc/grep-dctrl.rc /etc/groff /etc/group /etc/group- /etc/grub.d /etc/gshadow /etc/gshadow- /etc/gssapi_mech.conf /etc/gtk-2.0 /etc/hal /etc/hdparm.conf /etc/host.conf /etc/hostname /etc/ho
<robonaut> list /etc/libpaper.d /etc/lighttpd /etc/lintianrc /etc/locale.alias /etc/localtime /etc/logcheck /etc/login.defs /etc/logrotate.conf /etc/logrotate.d /etc/lsb-base /etc/lsb-base-logging.sh /etc/lsb-release /etc/ltrace.conf /etc/lynx-cur /etc/magic /etc/magic.mime /etc/mailcap /etc/mailcap.order /etc/mail.rc /etc/manpath.config /etc/mdadm /etc/menu /etc/menu-methods /etc/mercurial /etc/mime.types /etc/minicom /etc/mke2fs.conf /etc/modprobe.d /etc/modu
<robonaut> /etc/popularity-contest.conf /etc/postfix /etc/postgresql-common /etc/ppp /etc/printcap /etc/privoxy /etc/profile /etc/profile.d /etc/protocols /etc/pulse /etc/pygopherd /etc/python /etc/python2.6 /etc/radiusclient-ng /etc/radvd.conf /etc/rc0.d /etc/rc1.d /etc/rc2.d /etc/rc3.d /etc/rc4.d /etc/rc5.d /etc/rc6.d /etc/rc.local /etc/rcS.d /etc/reader.conf /etc/reader.conf.d /etc/reader.conf.old /etc/resolvconf /etc/resolv.conf /etc/rmt /etc/rpc /etc/rsysl
<robonaut> date-manager /etc/update-motd.d /etc/update-notifier /etc/vga /etc/vim /etc/vlc /etc/w3m /etc/wgetrc /etc/wpa_supplicant /etc/X11 /etc/xdg /etc/xinetd.conf /etc/xinetd.d /etc/xml /etc/zsh /etc/zsh_command_not_found
<russss> trollolol
<ms7821> it's fine, it's not like it's running as root
<ms7821> ?who
<robonaut> root
<ms7821> ...

< aden> lambrini is actually nice

<@Nin-lil-izi> god damnit... Just managed to superglue a pair of nail clippers to my keyboard

<@Akki14> jontyw: <3 *hug*
<@jontyw> Akki14: What did I do now?
<@jontyw> Hugs need metadata.
<@jontyw> X-Hug-Reason: foo

<@Akki14> i am so disappointed. almost all the stories i find when googling anthropomorphic taxidermy mouse is stories saying it's the new hobby of hipsters ><

<@Flux42> Drunken IRC, a United Nations for the 21st century.

<@Nin-lil-izi> I've got a pretty decent firefly build on second life.... could rez and wireframe it
<@Nin-lil-izi> I'll throw in a 30 foot flying zerg rush penis incursion for free

<TheHypnotist-spa> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering gaping gash.
<TheHypnotist-spa> argh wrong channel
<@CaptainTerrible> There isn't a right channel for that.

<Cadmus> Phew, I'm not on there yet

<@aden> we all use macs and have ironic facial hair

<alecjw> my computer just shut itself down because the ram was dirty
<alecjw> it took it out, washed it in warm soapy water and put it back in, now it's working fine again
<alecjw> if anyone else has dirty ram, i'd recommend trying this
<@srimech> I don't check my PC for dirty ram very often
<alecjw> srimech: i wouldnt have done, but it was getting so dirty that it was being short circuited by bits of chocolate which had melted into it
<alecjw> the ram's under the touchpad in my computer
<alecjw> except i have no touchpad
<Sully-> You're a filthy individual

<@jontyw> Oh good god what. http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1209578799/projecteo-the-tiny-instagram-projector
<@Nin-lil-izi> Instagram projector? What, is that like a Bat Signal for Hipsters?

<@Daithi> well i applied for my probe
<artag> Soon, a man with a long stainless steel rod and a big smile will be outside your house

< wat_> glen1, there are literally police cars labelled sandwich police
< glen1> wat_: You getting the Makerbot Thing-O'Matic?
< wat_> glen1, I have an old thing o matic that s been in storage a while when we moved
< glen1> wat_: Without 4chan.org/b/ over flows.
< wat_> glen1, 4chan is a simple image based bulletin board where anyone can post comments and share images
< glen1> wat_: Bre gave it to me.
<@jontyw> Oh god
< wat_> glen1, Upgrade to the latest Flash Player for improved playback performance
< glen1> wat_: But you've not printed a shot glass?
< wat_> glen1, Snowflakes Shot Glass Set DW SNOWFL SET Click Here
< glen1> wat_: 1) Dehydrate cucumber. 2) Replace the electronics.
< wat_> glen1, How can I preserve or freeze the MANY cucumbers or zuchinnis

Akki14 IRL: Cos it's leather it makes a really great sound when you hit people with it.

< Cadmus> I love rsync and rdiff-backup, more than I could love any human woman

<@jontyw> I opened the video. I skipped to a random part of the video, it was just Charles standing in a shower giggling. I closed the video.
< Sully-> There's beard!

AbbyKatt on an MRI machine: Can we not just put it between the 3 in 1 and the screwdrivers/chisels?

<@mstevens> croydon has also introduced me to the joys of lidl
< Sully-> *Two* Lidls?
<@mstevens> Sully-: a sign of class!
< Sully-> This place surely is some kind of Mecca

<@Akki14> also i need to go pee and i'm trapped in a fricken ponyfort

<@aden> just disabled adblock on facebook and i've got an advert for colonic irrigation and circus training

<@Montyphy> ass-time is the best time

<@jontyw> I'm working from home waiting for a package. My doorbell was broken until I fixed it last night, so I just went to check it was working. On hearing the bell I had a completely involuntary pavlovian reaction and got really excited that SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR! THERE'S A PARCEL! YAY! PARCEL! until realising that a) I was standing at the door and b) I was the one pressing the doorbell.

 * theorbtwo pops some popcorn.
 * parag0n pops on some cop porn

<billy__> when stoned in the tour bus, i came up with the idea of a lard-burger
<billy__> congealed animal fat, dipped in batter then deep fried :D