Quotes

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<aden> i'm an idiot, came in to work today and i've got the day off

<Paul2> man vengaboys were awesome

<Muz>  (repeat forever)

<EarthshineDesign> question
<EarthshineDesign> was the girl with teh pigtails last night Caitlin ?
<Muz> No that was lizzard.
<Muz> Caitlin's the really tall one.
<EarthshineDesign> Oh
<Muz> The really tall one that NEVER turns up anymore.
<EarthshineDesign> well the one with pigtails was a babe
...
<earthshine> well if she is a tranny she's a damned hot one

<caitlin> the musicians need to get home to bed, so they can get up early and work on their business plan

<aden> steff: i love the smell of chlamydia in the morning

<@jontyw> this is why I love russ:
<@jontyw> <russ> I found a piece of leuttice in my wallet this morning, so I presume I had a kebab.

<Paul2> the sad thing is people have nothing better to do with their lives but add trees to OSM

<@t0m> I'm also fairly big on angle grinding, and generally most things which can result in accidental breakage of rule 0
<@m00> rule 0?
<@t0m> Do not be on fire.

<@solexious> Should the used Ferric Chloride and Sodium Silicate be returned into their respective bottles?
<parag0n> drink them
<parag0n> they're harmless once used
<parag0n> and taste delicious

<Paul2> AircraftInteriorsExpo, continuing the trend of putting anyword infront of expo and thinking it will be great.

<parag0n> who wants to buy sealand and start a hackspace there
<tomwardill> the commute is a bit of a bitch

<ICANN> have you guys ever heard of the landline hacking?
<ICANN> well not hacking really but secret
<theothers> It's not called that anymore, it's Bushwhacking.

<theothers> If you ever see arpawocky on this channel he would be able to teach you how to build this stuff, he tought me.
<ICANN> to build what?
<@parag0n> mains phase shifter, other disco equipment

<codexn> caitlin ,i am wish to make friends with you !just talk something we like ,ok?
<@Alex> ...wat
<caitlin> hush you, i stand to make my first ever friend

<@aden> i read irc, twitter, and facebook, that's like reading a few really badly written books every day

<@russss> it's dark. There may be a nonzero chance of being eaten by a grue

<@solexious> Im going to repurpose one of my strobe beacons and hook it up to a methane sensor for the loos

<@solexious> ow, protip, dont solder naked

<ms7821> I am not sleeping on the dong

<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.

<glen2> Pizza printer?
<Blapto> pizza printer!
<glen2> So a cheese extruider?
<aden> going to put pizza dough in the makerbot instead of PLA
<glen2> Please don't touch the Makerbot.

<@aden> you can't own a mac and be a troll, you'd spend all day trolling yourself

<samthetechie> (to Kal) I'm so going to chain you to a radiator one day

<@solexious> oni_: less dancing, more grinding

<@roberthl> aden: is that... bacon?

<parag0n> eve is basically a spreadsheet
<parag0n> with a pretty 3d UI

<oni_> jontyw: where did you find that site?
<jontyw> oni_, which site?
<oni_> http://youtubecrack.on.nimp.org
<earlbot> [ GNAA Last Measure Live! ]
<jontyw> DO NOT CLICK
<Tamsin> I was going to ask if that was SFW :)
<oni_> lol, indeed
<roberthl> ah fuck
<roberthl> thanks guys :(

<@solexious> aaah beard fire]
<@solexious> soldering fail #2
< blapto> DON'T BE ON FIRE
<@solexious> its fine, im not in the space

<@actel> everything runs on gin
<@Muz> Gin, and dreams.

<Blapto> Has anybody here ever bought a towel?
<Muz> ... yes?
<Blapto> I need some towels.  I've never bought one.

< martop25xton> i am not that smart but i am easy to get along with
<@lozzd> that much is clear

<@roberthl> yeah i probably came in at a bad angle
<@roberthl> i think we should call it "combat docking"
<@drPoggs> roberthl: i hope you wiped up

<caitlin> i had spoke cards on every single bit of my bike i could get them on when i was 9 
<caitlin> REALLY wanted a motorbike
<caitlin> it was quite hard to pedal

<@drPoggs> it's not *too* far
<@drPoggs> continue down Old Street until you think you're in the 80s, then left up Kingsland Road and y'er almost there

<@russss> I'm sure it's doing it in a logical order, it's just not using the correct kind of logic.

<Blapto> I actually quite enjoyed that blue people film in 3D

<@haywardgb> i need a pee! where's Sol!

<caitlin> srsly, you motherfuckers.. the quotes page is basically grep caitlin log.file

< gsearle> Anyone here speak German?
<@solexious> 9

<caitlin> i loathe them junking ethics in with religion
<caitlin> it's like putting porn in the kids tv section
<caitlin> i could use a better analogy

<@jontyw> So, all the lights are on in the space but I can't see anyone there....
< pingbat> sounds like lots of people i know

* Blapto commits seppeku or bukkake or whatever it is

< Blapto> Sucking is too much effort

<@glen2> I'm in a shell, you'll have to describle the jpg to me.
< Paul2> glen2: pixel one: dark blue ish
< Paul2> pixel two (going l->r) also dark blue
< Paul2> maybe balck actually
< Paul2> 3: same as others
< Paul2> bored now. you get the picture
< Paul2> oh. wait. you dont.

<Muz> I think you misunderestimate my girth

<@solexious> Cory Doctoro just borrowed a drill

<amln> that 'ff' thing confused the fuck out of me. i did think it was about fisting.

< Herald> I even put it in the oven for 5 minutes to make it warm and soft

<russss> I have like 16GB of horse-related XML

<@oni> i am currently looking after Solexious's cats
<@oni> they like kebabs funnily

[18:39:45] <russss> what? I'm not grumpy

<@JamesHarrison> If they complain, put wheels on the bottom one and stick a permit on it

< aden> they could be using grindr to find a pub with lots of mac users in

<@russss> this stuff really isn't new, that's the thing. Why does it take fucking Microsoft to come out with something to get people excited about it.
< Underhand> because people get excited about fucking?

 <solexious> there was also a dead bee in the water tank :/
 <zts> that's a bug, not a feature

 <ms7821> it's the same as running away from bears - you only need to be more secure than the bike next to you

<elliot_w> useful for layzoring?: http://woodgears.ca/gear_cutting/template.html
<earlbot> [ Gear template generator ]
<chaotician> that's really cool
<aden> now all we need is something that requires wooden or perspex gears

<aden> i use one of those hdmi over cat 5 things, and a power over ethernet adapter, and a wireless bridge, so now my pc is totally wireless

< coldblood> how are the trains running into london?
< ms7821> still on tracks
<@Paul2> the same way they normally do, through application of kinetic energy and friction and things

<parag0n> whoooooa
<parag0n> NASA discovered life on earth

< alexs> It's like that Silicon based blob from star trek
< alexs> that eats rock
< alexs> (ST:TOS)
< parag0n> mmm, rocks
< alexs> It means life on Titan is possible.
< alexs> Think of the romeo and juliet esq fanfiction that's possible now!
< alexs> Arsenic based life-form falls in love with phosphorous based life form.
< alexs> They run away together, and then die.
< srimech> You could call it "My Chemical Romance"

< parag0n> how can we draw a penis on a set of xmas lights

<@Muz> Aden's floppy blue-tinged emoboy quiff hung loosely in front of his eyes as he breathed gently down Nigle's neck.
<@Muz> Slow, the makerbot began to extrude a fine white paste.

<@jontyw> Honest to god, someone just emailed the contact@hackspace.org.uk address asking for advice on how to set up a hackerspace in london

<glen2> I'm pritty sure I could get any surgery right on the second or third try.

* russss still hasn't had an opportunity to try his telescope out
<@solexious> so to speak

* alexs wonders if the mechanics on the funicular railway are RMT members
<Paul2> Funicular Union of Contractors and Keyworkers (FUCK)
< CableTwitch> And also the Funicular Union of Contractors and Keyworkers Emergency Rescue Service (FUCKERS)
< ms7821> and their outsourced IT dept, FUCKIT
< SamLR> Funicular uniont of contractors and keyworks: wellbeing, and information training (staff) FUCKWITS
< Paul2> fuckwits, the wireless part of the it services
< CableTwitch> Funicular Union of Contractors and Keyworkers - Official Funicular Forum
< alexs> Oh dear.
< ms7821> I hear they're expanding to LUL properties with their new Trains And Rails Division
< CableTwitch> The department for dealing with trackworks and maintainance follows the Universal Program
< Paul2> There is a Cellular Underground Networks Team for mobiles on the tube. I need to tell them their name.

<ms7821> I had to explain 4chan to my grandmother at christmas
<jpds> ms7821: 4chan != channel4.
<DanB_> ms7821: You cannot say that and not give us an idea of how *precisely* you managed to explain 4chan? :) I can imagine it was quite something!
<aden> slapped her round the face with his dong, and said "it's a bit like that"

<jontyw> What is solexious up to?
<solexious> jontyw: helping the pizza guy work his cctv recorder

@<srimech> Due to a collision of two mailing list threads, four members of the London Hackspace were cast in resin for a new Sky TV series on the 2nd February 2011.

<aden> can't remember who it was, in the end we kicked them from the channel for being dead

<Cyd>	i have an accent fetish
<Cyd>	i think...
<Cyd>	i hear a great english accent i melt
<lozzd>	if you were a hot girl, i'd so be attempting to bed you right now
<Cyd>	really?
<lozzd>	no offense
<lozzd>	hahahahah
<lozzd>	that was.. bizarre
.
.
< Cindy> hi everyone
<@lozzd> oh.
<@lozzd> i c what u did thar.
< Cindy> ?
<@lozzd> [01:11:06] <-- Cyd (~zinc@unaffiliated/cydd) has left #london-hack-space
<@lozzd> [01:11:42] --> Cindy (~zinc@unaffiliated/cydd) has joined #london-hack-space
< Cindy> what a coincidence...

<Muz> No, he suggested that they merely share two properties
<Muz> FFUU
<jontyw> I want to start graphing the frequency of muz's channel fuckups
<Muz> :(
<Muz> I'd been so good for months!
<creature> jontyw: I think he needs a gmail-style "You're about to say something in #london-hack-space. Is this really the channel you were  expecting to post in?" dialog whenever he speaks.
<jontyw> Mere seconds later, in another channel:
<jontyw> <Muz> Also, wtb moar multi-threading.
<jontyw> <Muz> FFFUUU
<jontyw> <Muz> Shut up jonty.
<jontyw> <alex> Haha.

<Muz>	This channel has really jumped the troll.

<kokey> ?molest
<robonaut> kokey, I don't understand 'molest'. Did you mean 'meet'?
<Randomskk> haha "meet"
<Randomskk> as in, 'I'm going to "meet" some children'

<jontyw> For use only in emergencies:	
<jontyw> ?llama	
<robonaut> |      Tony the drama llama says..     |	
<robonaut> ----------------------------------------	
<robonaut> |                                      |	
<robonaut> |                            o ~)      |	
<robonaut> |                          o    (_---; |	
<robonaut> |  (Calm down children!) o      /|~|\  |	
<robonaut> |                              / / /   |	
<robonaut> |                                      |	
<robonaut> ----------------------------------------	
User mode for ms7821 set to +o by ChanServ	
← robonaut was kicked by ms7821 (~Mark@goatse.co.uk): spam	
User mode for ms7821 set to -o by ChanServ	
<jontyw> Aww	
* jontyw removes the llama

<russ> Amongst other gunk, there was HALF A DEAD BEE lodged in the water flow interlock sensor.
<artag> Alas, poor Eric.

<TypeOLobo>  Looking for a squid expert with good-to-expert security,routing experience. Pays $500 for the solution. Easy money for the right expert.
<ms7821> bruce schneier's a squid expert
<TypeOLobo> ok, thanks ms.. i'll look for him.

<@solexious> its for dirk
<parag0n> gently?
* srimech whispers: "it's for dirk"
<SpikeUK> :-(

<@Jasperw> can anyone remember that product/shopping agregator website that jonty posted, it was called something like justbuythisone.com
<@Jasperw> oh wait, thats exactly what it's called.

<Alex> solexious: wat?
<Alex> solexious: your script sucks, or that's not a script, or something else. :)
<solexious> Alex: what? i dont even
<Alex> horse.

<aden> when i worked on a it helpdesk, idiots wanted apostrophes in their names, then were surprised when they couldn't receive external email
<russss> this is why you don't work in a helpdesk any more aden

<GPenguin> what does the bot mean when it says that somebody opened the door?
<ms7821> :S
<aden> GPenguin: take a guess
<GPenguin> somebody connected via ssh?

<SamLR> timm pho is good but doesn't have the scalability of pizza
<@russss> pho is fucking web scale

<Underhand> i certainly didn't report it when a drunk in newcastle flopped his cock out and ran towards me. i just figured that was par for the course on a friday night in the north.
<creature> Underhand: You should feel privileged. That's a traditional Northern welcome. It's a great honour.

<@SamLR> we're no longer "london hackspace" we're "some guys in london" (Fox says so!)
<spooq> right above "dog climbs fence"
<spooq> and "homeowners fined for noisy toddler"
<spooq> LHS has hit the big time!
<eb4890> We've made it. We can stop now. We aren't going to do any better than that.

<jontyw> ARGHARGArarRAGHHH http://trbaldwin.com/takeways-from-linklove-london/
<jontyw> SEO conferences need to be routinely firebombed
<creature> jontyw: firebombed, bombed, molotov cocktailed, incendiary bombed.

<Sci> ...And if it stops just one person filling a working clock mechanism with hot-glue & putting it on a hat, I'll be happy.

<lovelace_> oh and the people tidying up in advance of the kids might want to remove the japanese scat porn from the lovelace downloads folder if the kids will be unsupervised near this pooter

<ms7821> meta threads really hit the google filters - I'm getting multiple NLP ads now
<ms7821> and one on bike sheds :|
<parag0n> what colour are they?
<ms7821> japanese

<jonty> http://cloudgirlfriend.com/
<caitlin> i'm thinking that through, but cloud girlfriends have existed for just about ever
<caitlin> a platform with limited resources, but shared between a large number of clients?
<caitlin> on which as a client you 'rent' time?

<lovelace_> ?board RIP Fruity, March 2011 - April 2011. Beloved by HaywardGB, murdered by hoodlums

<aden> they should ban handkerchiefs from tubes, in case terrorists use hanky code to communicate

<ms7821> even more important http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler%27s_possible_monorchism
<earlbot> [ Hitler's possible monorchism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ]
<@russss> lol
<@srimech> He was monochromatic though, I've seen pictures

<@glen2> Anyway I go to bed now. I've had a bussy day of braking httpd and having my dog eat one of my walls.
<ms7821> glen2: is walls a typo?
<@srimech> I read it as balls too
<artag> glen2 is monochromatic as well now

 <@jontyw> Making the cameras members only to increase privacy is absurd, given we have ~272 members. That's like fucking in a bedroom that only 272 people have the key to and thinking it unlikely that someone will walk in.

<tomwardill_> so, this bikeshed, it needs to be green, yes? ;)
<jontyw> I was thinking it should be invisible, to increase privacy.
<tomwardill_> oh yes!
<tomwardill_> and unplottable
<tomwardill_> in case it appears on a map

<russss> if there's someone next to me staring at me I can punch them in the face

<ajp5> <basil fawlty>dont mention the cameras, I mentioned them once but I think i got away with it </bf>

<parag0n> hdd platters make good frisbees
<jontyw> They really do
<jontyw> There's a huge stack of them in the space
<jontyw> I took great joy in frisbeeing a few into the carpark from the balcony the other night
<jontyw> Tiny death frisbees
<creature> What's their hang time like? Think you could clear the railway tracks?
<jontyw> Yeah, you could
<jontyw> The only issue is that if you fall short you just chucked a bit of metal onto railway tracks.

<russss> 11. Does the organisation welcomes membership from marginalised groups in the community e.g.
<russss> asylum seekers, lesbian and gay men, ethnic minorities, people with disabilities, women, young
<russss> people and older age groups?
<russss> If yes please provide documentary evidence
<russss> [sic]
<russss> how the hell do you provide documentary evidence of that?
<martind> put up a sign "lesbians welcome"? then take pics?
<creature> We can photocopy people's gay cards, right?
<andrewgodwin> right, every disabled, gay or female member needs to provide a short essay...
<solexious> badly worded? "lesbian and gay men"
<russss> heh
<solexious> i'm a lesbian man!
<martind> ah yeah it needs to be "lesbian men welcome"
<andrewgodwin> I'll happily provide documentary evidence that the hackspace is FABULOUS

<@JamesHarrison> in retrospect, trying to debate AV with people on /b/ was never a good idea

<jontyw> I was considering shipping a box of bees to someone for april fools day
<jontyw> But I figured it might be a bit harsh
<jontyw> "Oh! I've got a present!"
<jontyw> "OH GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE"

* Errant does the moving-to-Geneva dance
* Errant is going to communicate the shit out of CERN
<glen2> Errant: Do some dumpster-diving at CERN for the Hackspace.
<srimech> Bring us back a bag of muons

<srimech> Renski: World ending tomorrow, didn't you get the mail?
<Renski> ffs, I have library books I need to return
<srimech> I know, I just bought loads of tea bags, there's no way I'm going to use them all now
<Renski> srimech: I need to arrange an orgy or something, what time is this meant to happen?
<bmalee> Local time everywhere, apparently.
<srimech> It'll take ages.

<glen2> If I remember the Bible correctly, isn't the rapture ment to take 300 male virgin jews?
<tomwyatt> oh god, 300 virgin WoW players
<glen2> So it could have happened!
<mattp> at least ping times will go down.

<glen2> I'm going to bed now. I have to remove the balls from my dog early tomorrow.
<Underhand> poor dog.
<glen2> I wonder if the vet would be willing to replace them with D20's.

<glen2> Salford is the songs of Joy Division made solid.

<ms7821> ?weather
<robonaut> Light rain, 16C/61F, Humidity: 72% Wind: SW at 18 mph
<ms7821> neat
<ms7821> oh wait, did I write that?

<@jontyw> http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081109165257AAjtP30
< earlbot> [ My toe fingers keep growing how do I make them short? - Yahoo! Answers ]
<@jontyw> Dear Ryan, I think you'll find they're just called toes. You fucking idiot.
< timm> Toe Finger!
<@jontyw> Love, the internets.
<@tomscott> "he's the man / the man with the toes for fingers"
<@srimech> Catchy
<@tomscott> which is ironic, since there's no way he could catch with toefingers
<@srimech> It's very dangerous to underestimate toefinger.
<@jontyw> He loves only toooes, Only Tooees, He loves toooes
< timm> <posh accent>Good Day, Mr. Bond, I'm ToeFinger" </posh accent>
<@tomscott> "do you expect me to talk?" "no, Mr Bond, I expect you to be mildly uncomfortable and try not to stare"
<@jontyw> Would his henchman be Footjob?
<@jontyw> And Footsie Galore

<@srimech> How's your burrito? Not waspy enough? Here we go. *enwasp*

<alecjw> what are the plans for the little room on the left at the back of the workshop?
<@creature> The toilet?
<@roberthl> it's a toilet

<@jontyw> Oh for tits sake, we're suspending the sea fort trip AGAIN.
 * jontyw cries a little
<@tomscott> well, don't worry about it, after all it's the fort that counts

<alecjw> ie buy her an orchid or something - all women like orchids, right?
<lovelace_> yes. unless they dont like orchids
<alecjw> i'm hoping she doesn't belong to that category

<ms7821> and I thought Windows woudl bloody work

<billy_> someone dropped half of one off the balcony, and people were stepping around it, like a puddle of vomit

<lovelace_> im visiting from pl and want to see all your cool projects
<artag> lovelace_: they are all around you, cunningly disguised as piles of broken rubbish

<@glen2> Experience what pre-industrial revolution life must have been like with our collection of motorless lathes.

<oni> I demand nubile hot students!
<oni> I wonder if thats a clause in my contract
<solexious> oni: I almost took a job as a theatre tech in a 6th form girls boarding school for the same reason

<@Jasperw> it's like being molested by your favourite teddy bear.
<@Jasperw> really this should come as no surprise for me, i've hung out on asr, i have an adminspoorting t-shirt, i should know in the inner recesses of my being what all sysadmins know:
<@Jasperw> All software sucks, and all hardware sucks.

The continuing adventures of Muz's channel fuckups:

<Muz> Also, with cuffs, you totally can't bind limbs to other limbs securely, as you could with say rope.
<Muz> FFUCK
<martind> #bondage pls

<earlbot> [ The Monarchy Today > Queen and public > Royal visits > Queen and passport ]
<kierank> s/Her majesty/Chairman Jonty
<jontyw> I am unsure if you're implying that I am a "her". 
<kierank> i am not implying that
<Underhand> jontyw: well, are you?
-*- jontyw checks
<jontyw> I don't think so
<jontyw> "Her"'s are innies, right?

The further continuing adventures of Muz's channel fuckups:

<Muz> I'm fucking hungry. What time are we Westfielding?
<Muz> You're not work IRC.

<jontyw> Paul2, we attempt to get consensus, basically. If that fails, we start killing the people who disagree with us.
<jontyw> It's a simple system.
<srimech> I thought we were using the phrase "adjust" rather than "kill"
<nigle> Yep, life expectancy adjustment :-)

<russss> and broadly I am just a frontend to wikipedia

<earthshine> alecjw: Do you use Lynx ?
<alecjw> sometimes. at the moment im using firefox with js disabled
<roowilliams> why js disability?
<alecjw> i don't beleive in web 2.0

<amx109> hey. anyone got any contact info for lhs folks in Brighton?
<amx109> I've arrived but with nowhere to really go, or peeps to see
<aden> go into a random pub toilet, call one of the numbers on the wall

<Paul2> We should take more lessons from Neighbours. Upset at something? Don't worry. Wait until tomorrow and everyone will have forgotten about it.

<russss> tl;dr: we need a bar.
<russss> that's the final line of a poem I haven't written yet

<FractalBobz> Isn't there a pariety?
<ms7821> nope, but the high bit is used for extended ascii
<jontyw> A piratey?
<FractalBobz> Yarr!
<ms7821> are piratey bits pieces of 8?

<alecjw> timROGERS, are you the person sitting to my right?
<timROGERS> Yes. Haha.

<alecjw> [on the phone to the beer wholesalers] I'm the crazy one with the handcart.

<alecjw> jontyw: i knew the regulars think of me as a helfunsaftee disaster but i didnt know you, who's visited the space less than half a dozen times since i joined, i've forgotten how i started this sentence

<ms7821> the only thing that travels faster than light is alecjw's reputation for causing damage

< ms7821> but that wand is only large enough for macchiatos
<@jontyw> That's what SHE said

<@jontyw> Do you remember what I was doing? I'd like to know. I found an animated gif of myself dressed in binbags on twitter the next morning.

* TheHypnotist just had a romantic dinner for two with someone extra special and bright, shiney, inteligent and lovely beautifully long flowing brown hair. <3 
<jontyw> TheHypnotist, ms7821?
<TheHypnotist> yesh jonty, yesh <3<3

<aden> nobody would notice the difference between jeremy kyle and the hackspace webcam