Project:AlarmClock

Alarm clocks are shit. I want to build one that actually works for me.

Criteria

Does not rely on being irritating. No "find the puzzle piece I ejected into orbit" type things.
Uses the time signal to set itself.
Has a programmable wake-up sequence.
Mains powered.

Dawn light, use a full-spectrum bulb. Turns on at the start of the wakeup sequence, gradually gets brighter.
- Allow for plugging in an external lamp instead of a built in lamp?
Alarm starts to make noise at start of wakeup sequence, gradually getting louder. Possibly with breaks.
"Cut off" time, at which point the thing goes mental and forces you to get up if you've not turned it off.
- Does this even need a snooze if you go for gradual wakeup?
A wireless off button that lives in another room
Programmable noises for wakeup sequence. USB upload? SD card?
Some form of sleep cycle monitoring
- Preferably via a method that doesn't require something in the bed with you, or a wristband. Possibly a PIR type sensor, or a camera.
- Change the alarm to start going off at the correct point in your cycle.
- For bonus points, allow data export for data porn. Maybe save to the SD card with the sound files on.